I have enjoyed moving ever since I can think. The opposite is true for pausing. In fact, I used to not understand what people meant when they spoke about breaks or integration. I would seek out and thrive in environments that challenged myself and others, trying out new things, widening my horizon. ‍

At one point, Yoga and Contemporary dance appeared in my life and I felt increasingly drawn to spaces that would ask me to turn inwards.

But: most of the time, I could not quite grasp what pulled me to those places. They really wore on my patience. Asking of me not just the familiar self-improvement tasks but to go to my senses, to a self beyond the motion, plans, achievements.

It took years for me to be able to articulate what the “magic” of these experiences was since I never walked out the room considerably changed - and yet, something made me come back and do more. First it was scanning through different yoga styles and approaches to dance; my whole body smiled at the sight of a teacher showing cool floorwork tricks to be practiced. There was something in these new forms of movement that was fascinating. Not because they posed riddles and challenges and brought joy into my burning muscles as I had loved for years in football, triathlon and other sports – but because it connected body and mind in a way that I couldn´t quite grasp. And frankly still cannot!

That´s the whole point. Shifting to those experiences we cannot pin down, put into our pockets or photo albums. Trying to hold on to an experience of bodymind connection, to fit it into a preconceived mold, compare, utilize, commodify and understand it, it vanishes.

I got hooked when I frequently found life´s questions reflected in exercises in the dance classes I attended. So I dug deeper, bumped into teachers and places that would work more somatically. Dance became less about mastering movements and more about feeling, and practising to be present. Yes, enjoying and endulging in it but also staying aware, alert.

And: slipping out of that state far more often than not, of course! My journey continued to be one of curiosity and eagerness, not suddenly dropping the old tendency of moving to where there was novelty and intense physicality, but sprinkling in more and more space for the discovery of bodyfulness. Of wonder. Waiting quietly enough for my intuitive self to come out. One that asks for a certain sensitivity and compassion to show itself, that, once here, can lean in to asking questions without having to know the answers. A self that can build beautifully fluid experiences - on a solid foundation of “Urvertrauen”, a deep-seated trust. That can give in to the mysterious, wondrous nature of the dance of life.

Surrendering our grip on life how we would like to see it and instead truly participating in it: in my eyes, this is a life-long practice in which dance can be so analogous. It´s beautiful just to drop in to its ups and downs. In the most simple ways.